Blind Sober

by Little Big Toe

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credits

released July 26, 2014

All songs written, performed, recorded and produced by Jimmy James Cutrera

Mastering by Anthony Defabritus III (antFARM studios)

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about

Little Big Toe Middletown Township, New Jersey

Led by Jimmy James Cutrera who has been playing some music in some form for a while. LBT likes to incorporate all their influences (which include Radiohead, Andrew Bird, Frank Zappa, King Crimson, the Flaming Lips, Soundgarden, Tool, Silverchair, Jim Croce, Cat Stevens, Nick Drake, and Mahavishnu Orchestra) in their sound while trying not to be too much of a jerk about it. Thanks for listening. ... more

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Track Name: 2,834
I was up against my best time
but the beat of my heart and my lungs weren’t in line
and then a twenty seven hundred mile plane ride
separates us at birth

Evaluating your age like a crushed grape
when your whole world’s inside a geometrical shape
held together by a thin piece of duct tape
pull it off and it comes apart

Skate around awkwardly on frozen ponds
I lost my balance, you held me up

Scribble on stream of consciousness notepads
a sweet nothing based on your relocated eyelash
contrasting, comparing the beach sand
with a flatter terrain

A fine tuned chord’s homeostasis
the frequencies bounced like a ball through the spaces
in the ‘waves’ where your beautiful face is
and perfect pitch is sustained

A birthday cake on the West Side Highway lawn
you cracked my knuckle and hummed my song

I can taste the sun
around your tongue
You’re the 'I' in the vitamin
Track Name: pulled hamstring
It wasn’t such a clean break
more like the pulling of a hamstring
in the span of your eyes blink-ing to your favorite song
You’re forming your opinions before we have discussed them
But I’ve grayed out all the changes, and filled you in

Twisting like it’s ivy
the decisions that our minds make
can be programmed just like binary
codes that stunt our growth

So you drown in boiling water
and back out falling forward
Just thought it would make more of - an impression in the mud
(but it could dry up)
(or you can use your lungs to make it out in a single piece)

So yea, it wasn’t such a clean break
more like the pulling of a hamstring
but you can always rehabilitate and make the muscle strong (again)

Twisting like it’s ivy
the decisions that our minds make
can be programmed just like binary
codes that stunt our growth
Track Name: bodies exhibit.
Using each other’s bodies like they were haunting ghosts
Lifted and weighed the wallet, a barbell for a credit card
Born with a perfect body, a heaping portion of food
Mistakenly made it godly, like its shape would transform (dictate) your mood

The greatest folly you could make
You’ve turned yourself into your slave
Pretending that the chains won’t break
You came back from war, impaled by the sword

Squinting your eyes at targets
nature will choose its prey
No longer a need for maggots (with the)
Extinction of the decayed
Catholic guilt it raised you
and fear led you astray
the skeletons in the closet
shave the bones til your dying day

The harshest truths keep you awake
the deepest breath your lungs could fake
There’s only so much you can take
Burnt by the sun, now it’s your driving force
Track Name: build a boat
Out on a limb, the branch gives out
The fibers were torn
It's a long way down

I could flap my wings to no avail
expending all my energy on a ship that's sailed.
Or I could build a boat to travel (the seas)
towards a three sided shaped mystery

I’ll fight but you’ll win the ring
I’ll stain this page with ink until it’s something I can sing

Your face tattooed on my swollen brain
I’ve given into your foreign name

I could run away like a wounded dog
or conserve all my energy until the cast comes off
but I’ll be out of shape
upon my return to the game

But I’ll fight my way out of the cage
I’ll stain this page with ink until there’s nothing left to say
Track Name: stocks & bonds
Get home, nuke some dinner
Wash it down with Puerto Rican rum
Hope that helps me get out of my head for the moment

Puree the batter
I’d even let you lick the spoon
If you hadn’t sent that letter to John
in the mailbox
in the winter months

I’ve realized that all the stock I put in you
Showed no revenue
Throw the fifty-two
In a shredding machine
If you salvage a queen, piece it into two

Feeding lambs to putbulls
Bury their remains in backyards behind the fire and the horse shoe pit
Where the land harvests mosquito stings

With a one track pathway
All because you have magnetic eyes that have vacuumed the life right out of me
And in time, I will learn not to give a shit

Striving for perfection gets me nowhere
And I’ve noticed that I haven’t produced a thing
In a quarter of a calendar year
Can never get past this next part
But fuck it, here goes…
Track Name: ahem
Contagious like a cough...orange angel, yellow yawn
broken arrow, broken yolk in the skillet
Fighting for a life, in octagons - brains versus brawn
connect them like a dot, Milton bailed them out of prison

finger dipped in the aero-blade...curiosity’s Manson’s spade
liar loathe a loving lull that killed a kitten
cried a river, lonely lake...graph the fraction’s distorted shape
but the professor skipped his high school English lesson

eyes don’t lie, that’s why you write letters
with a diamond shaped ‘I’ in the dialect of a sailor
the amphibian’s tongue couldn’t grab Adam’s mealy apple
cream and sugar kill the taste, but that’s the way most prefer it

laugh off monsters on halloween, costumed creatures, molar sweet
greatest grandma’s plastic packaged peppermint
dripping faucet, odd timed beats, syncopate with a machine
vacuumed fingernails, a suctioned crunching clamor

eyes don’t lie, that’s why you write letters
with a diamond shaped ‘I’
in the dialect of a sailor
the amphibian’s tongue couldn’t grab Adam’s mealy apple
cream and sugar kill the taste, but that’s the way most prefer it

thunder offsets a sleeping pill
edit bulk shopping lists
hairline fractured widow’s peak
trim around the ears
a hunchback’s pet’s life expentancy
credit modern medicine
don’t underestimate antibiotic tablet shapes
a lozange cures a hacking cough
post nasal drip into a tin, the bucket overflows into the street
roll the tarp
postpone the game cuz

eyes don’t lie, that’s why you write letters
with a diamond shaped ‘I’
in the dialect of a sailor
the amphibian’s tongue couldn’t grab Adam’s mealy apple
cream and sugar kill the taste, but that’s the way most prefer it
Track Name: indestructible machines
starting from the middle row
in between and down below the gravity feels thin
(just) inhale this medicine
the barking dog speaks no English
but still conveys messages and gets your attention
he’s just looking out for your best interest
the hangers on, been there for years
mastered all of the techniques, the system’s ins and outs
that some man created - for him

an insincere apology
makes you rethink and rethink and rethink out your strategy
cuz if that’s all that it takes to make you go away
i’ll do my best to betray you

got my degree in zoology
makes me rethink and rethink and rethink my humanity
cuz if that’s all that it takes to catch my lucky break
I’ll do my best to repay you

indestructible machines - still need fuel to operate
4 letter words and dumb cliches correct a politician’s phrase
blanket statements keep you warm, the cotton makes your mouth sound numb
The meeting’s still up in the air. We cannot come to agreement
retaining walls will separate - and hold the earth up in its place
My son, where is your discipline? you’ve got to quit your standing still
This will not be your last lesson...the minute hand says class dismissed
Track Name: having your cake
Easy does it on the cake
you’ve had enough of the give and take
Sometimes you gotta put your fork away
wrap it in a box for a later date
A butterknife won’t feel so soft
I prefer a sharper edge for a deeper cut
When Expectations get shot to shit
I don’t act like a man, it makes my stomach sick

Actions can be quite irrational (even when they’re not)
much like your perceived self worth (like you’ve been staring at the sun)
these things stay with you from your day of birth
get off the clearance aisle and don’t sell yourself short

I like to change my mind and when you change yours
My tolerance is like a 14 year old
who just dipped into the secret stash
dripping pints of blood when a shot tipped back
would do the trick, and warm your bones
a rookie mistake from a veteran
Learning to run before you walk
will make your mechanics seem off

Actions can be quite irrational (even when they’re not)
much like your perceived self worth (like you’ve been staring at the sun)
these things stay with you from your day of birth
get off the clearance aisle and don’t sell yourself short
so end the sale and don’t sell yourself short
Track Name: barstool paperweight
Murdering dreams, assembling teams of hitmen
the victory goes to apathy
Trying to hear above the crowd’s cheers

Striking wrong chords, my head is submerged in a whirlpool
and in between breaths, I can see
the girl in the corner with her eyes closed

The streaks on the glass distort moments that passed
and the cloth meant to clean left a residue
in times of despair, you’ll cry that life isn’t fair
until you bury the dead weight you’ve been carrying...along

Out on the scene, showing your skin to a stranger
letting sunlight hit your face
applying a sun protection factor

An unborn salesman, tripped over tactics
but the skills have sharpened like a knife
that sliced the statement you retracted

The words never spoken have clearly exposed
the fakeness disguised as a friendship
And the white knuckled grip cracked the skin ‘til it bled
While you were burying (the) dead weight you’ve been hanging onto...

Murdering dreams, assembling teams for forensics
who are taping off the scene
Trying to hear above the crowd’s tears
Track Name: cold hearts, good 'ole clean fun
Armed men can draw quickly
when trained with killer instincts
and won’t say acts of contrition
Sadly, cold hearts defeat the weaker
to the victor (goes) the spoils

With less of communication
A genie won’t grant wishes
A coffin will bury (the) remains
while choirs sing Amazing Grace

tear jerkers
the start of the healing

Clean slates, clap the erasers
chalkdust clouds in your faces
Instead use - permanent markers
so you don’t make the same mistakes

loop buttons in infinite circles
Track Name: density of a glass
Eyed down the mark
Ink tattooed deep in the rug
Steam clean the spot
Red on white doesn’t come out
Milk heated up
Bagged blue ice covered in cloth melted
Soggy broth – drip into a bucket
Filled the line up the top

Soaked up by the sun
On a scale weighed an even sixteen ounces
A speckle to a pond
But enough to make an insect drown

Memorize the oath with marbles under your tongue
Lift your right arm
Spew a silly paragraph while your voice stays monotone
Bath heated up
Wash away the memory of a one-sided love
Step in a sauna’s fog
Ring out into a bucket, filled a line up to the top

Soaked up by the sun
On a scale weighed an even sixteen ounces
A speckle to a pond
But enough to make an insect drown


Tell your friends that you love them
Because when it pours, they’re your lifeguard
A glass of liquid courage always makes it seem less foolish
Make peace with the enemy because you may need their help one day
A bridge that’s burning is a faulty means of transportation
Listen to a song just to listen
And when that fails, pay attention
Because you may hear a line that’s similar with your situation
Take a hint from a friend’s voice
Sometimes big as a billboard
Cuz your tin ear could be as deadly as a dagger

Soaked up by the sun
On a scale weighed an even sixteen ounces
A speckle to a pond
But enough to make an insect drown
Track Name: i hate everyone / i love everybody
Isn’t it instinct to want it all?
I only want
bits and pieces to make a whole
divide into slivers keeping families full

You slammed the barn door and no one heard... your muttering diatribe
the gaggle of sycophants fellating egos
do they spit, do they swallow?
(my belief is that the ladder is true)

360 degrees to walk until parallel thinking
(brings) simultaneous urges to talk
about the weather, while ignoring the pink elephant in the room

Deprive yourself of REM sleep watching sunsets
and thrive upon a friendship that is slowly decaying
Isn’t it so horrifying to find out that this day has come

Dancing on angles distorts your form
a pharmaceutical Suarez
Dosed by a stamp on a birthday card
that I’ve been meaning to send you
so, Happy Belated darlin’

when the feeding tube’s flowing like Devil’s Brook
you’ll never go hungry
the dangling carrot will lose its worth
and the stems in the homestead
will all turn into trap doors

The conversation starter kit won’t open
the map on the directions led to pools full of marbles
isn’t it so paralyzing?
foreign tongues will fork off into dirt roads
pack your parachute and jump into a blazing inferno
well aren’t you (so) death defying?
but isn’t it so terrifying?
to find out some games can’t be won
in this knife fight, it looks like you’re outnumbered
but the hand upon your shoulder looks extremely familiar
and isn’t is so damn frightening?
and isn’t it so enlightening?
to find out that this day has come
(and) to find you were completely wrong
Track Name: sticks and stones broke every single bone
Groups of letters age like wine, weigh a ton, and break spines
Asymmetrical accounts fall skewed from a crooked mouth
To fill up a holy book a thin pages where sages took the best parts of a colony
And started wars in their countries
And devised plans and strategies behind the backs of enemies
Inkwell pens to sign peace treaties sit in holding stands until

Profit margins reach their goal
A trophy case holds a cancerous lung
The pie chart’s numbers on the wall
The demographic gets their plate, knife and fork

Parting words through a door raise questions loaded from holes
Though insincere and misleading, they type backhanded flattery
Whatever delays instances of confrontations and debates like a coward’s nervous trembling or a junkie’s pulsating, bleeding vein
There’s a rabbit’s heel on a keychain that hopes to win the lottery
There’s an imprint in the sofa seat where the applications host coffee stains and…

Profit margins reach their goal
A trophy case holds a cancerous lung
The pie chart’s numbers on the wall
The demographic gets their plate, knife and fork

The only one that knows the awful truth has a sandpaper tongue and a rabid tooth

Profit margins reach their goal
A trophy case holds a cancerous lung
The pie chart’s numbers on the wall
The demographic gets their plate, knife and fork
Track Name: sunrise mountain transformation
Sometimes the good days outweigh the bad
But then the bad ones give into desire and gain back their fat
I'll get myself into a 3 point legged stance
and run away from my rivaled opponents

as they stand in front of the exit signs that blink
and hold a stiff armed pose until it eventually breaks
from the force that it would take to maintain
When I think it’s fully healed, again my limb will cave

I'm gonna transform into a mountain like shape
And watch the debris fall into crowds that occupies space
I'll try to paint my red flags green
until my eyes equate black and white to every color scheme

Cuz you can't run from yourself , You'll always catch up
You can't make a sound choice if you're constantly ignoring your gut
So don't lie to the one you call your best friend
You'll just make enemies until the idea of trust seems outdated

Hours turn into months into decades
Of wasting away
Resisting the urge to change

The blood can't rush through when you’re poisoning and clogging your veins
The ugliness is trapped behind a door, fooling your senses to make the sunlight look just like rain
I hope to laugh at the absurdity one fine day
I’ll fold the paper into fours so I never forget the decree
Track Name: hairy brush
Down the fire escape, I tripped and fell
Into a garbage bin with a memorable smell
I swam through rodents and stole their cheese
And saw a cow glancing back at me maliciously

And even if I tried
I could never lie
That’s been my weakest trait since my first birthday

I never shave my head because all the widows peak
And not to mention all the welcoming looks from the third regime
A secret handshake ain’t so secret when a couple drinks and couple more are on the tab

Even if I died, I’ll make sure to write
So leave all inquiries on my voice machine

And Roe v. Wade hasn’t settled a thing
And I have no opinion until it affects me directly

So smoke your cigarette and polish your silver bullet
Even if you forgot me, you’ll make a cameo in my dreams
Even if I died, I’ll make sure to write
So leave all inquiries on my voice machine
Track Name: the weight of water
Beach sand runs through fingers like a salamander
Squirming like an infant would in case of danger
Muscle twitching, nervous itching
Wave to land tides
Building bodies, model drawings…the weight of water

Giant man destroys my homeland
Soldier down, an evening wife’s gown worn on days of intense malaise
Even if the Sanskrit wasn’t Greek to me

Magnetically drawn to you like the alphabet on a refrigerator
Drawn on paper as a hologram through the reflection of your cornea

I’ve found a circulatory vessel to travel intravenously
The doctor told me to beware of infections and gave me these pills to drink
Penicillin killing toxins behind the bone debris
Walk backwards through a crowded room without anyone noticing a thing

Lying man makes his fortune poisoning man with his chemical vitamin
Through the hands of unconscious merchants
Even if the Sanskrit wasn’t Greek to me